WHAT WE SAW: While wandering the back roads of Illinois, we suddenly came upon a discovery that changed the world as we know it. Everybody ‘knows’ that all the dinosaurs were wiped out by an asteroid some 65 million years ago. But, we talked to an eye witness to what really happened way back then. We promised not to give you her name, nor where she lives.
Here’s the story she told me. “I was on holiday visiting my distant cousins the Rays on the Pampas. We heard a big bang, like a transformer exploding, but we didn’t have electricity, phones or the Internet back in those days. But, I just knew it was something big. Well, a year later the rumor-dactals brought us the news. They said the sun had fallen from the sky and burned up everything north of the equator; it was night all the time and everyone still alive is leaving. I knew they got it wrong. The sun was still in the sky, I could see it, but there was a haze, so maybe only the north half of the sun must have fallen. I hoped my kin were headed south. I headed north to meet them and help. My cousins in the South Temperate Climate Zone reported that the sky haze got worst and they had a bunch of cool summers , but they were OK.
“When I got to the South Equatorial Climate Zone, the haze was much worse all year long and plants didn’t grow like they used to. When I got to the North Eq. Climate Zone it was impossible to continue the weather was so bad for a century or more. While I waited I made a nest in the mountains, hoping to have a hospitality place for my kin, but none came. When it got clear enough, I was happy to leave ‘cause my nest kept filling with water. I called it ‘Biddytata’, because this old lady is leaving and never coming back.
“Well the weather finally cleared and I crossed that zone, but the North Temperate Zone was like a wall of ash. I laid down on the top of a mountain near a volcano to keep warm and to watch for my kin and to wait for a break in the weather. It was a long wait and I did not see any of my kin. I wore the mountain top into a nesting hole which was always filling with water. On leaving I dubbed it ‘Lake Mine Agua’.
“Now, young fella, don’t you go and doubt my story, because both those water-filled nests are still there today and still have the names I gave them. Well almost, some people didn’t get the pronunciation exactly right.
“Like I was saying, I followed the valleys north. At one point I got so thirsty that I drank all the good water from a lake, leaving only the Bad Water. I was so thirsty that lake is still dry to this day. I turned east. To my total shock I found some big, rocky mountains where some of my kin had owned seafront property along the Mrs. Shiply Seaway last time I was here. I walked across the bottom of what used to be the sea. At one point in that walk, I got the munchies so bad, I ate all the horses and camels. I feel sorta sorry for that, but what’s a girl to do? Some time you need to splurge.
“When I got home, everything had changed. All my family and kin and neighbors dead; all my prey and food plants extinct. All new neighbors and prey, and having to figure out who was which. I went into a depression, became a vegetarian and isolated myself. I still have nightmares.”
She didn’t talk after this, and I left her as you see in the picture.
Seriously and scientifically, I think that because of Climate Zone attenuation some dinosaurs survived way south of the equator. I think the Cassowary, Ostrich, Rhea, Kiwi, Emu, Rallina, and the extinct Elephant bird are all plumed dinosaurs, not devolved feathered birds. I also think some of her dinosaur relatives lived in Antarctica for millions of years after the asteroid, until the ice terminated them all, except the Penguins. It would be nice if we might be able to find some of her dinosaur relatives still living. Perhaps with DNA testing. What if the short winged ostrich is a descendant of short armed T-Rex?
HOW TO GET THERE: if you just happen to be at the intersection of Seminary Road and Straub Lane (39.988437, -90.141100), and just happen to drive toward the sunset, then follow a sharp curve to the left. You might just be alert on the inside of the next curve, there might be someone of interest. She might be hiding in the shade of a tree, standing as stiff as a board, trying not to be seen. Her head is bent with old age. She is very thin, almost gaunt. Her ribs are visible. And she is wearing pink slippers.
It can happen, with His help.
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